“If you’re tryin to be a slut in the city, make sure you wear a skinny black belt”

20130929-133338.jpgHappy Hangover Sunday everyone! Well, let me start off by saying, it was difficult to get out of bed this morning. But no matter how hard my head was pounding it was still proof to me that I had a good night!

My Saturday started out chillin in my bestie Alyson’s backyard. This was short lived because the idea of laying down in her bed napping was just too tempting so we did just that (yeah we are old, get over it). After I awoke from a lovely nap I showered and waited for my other bestie Keira to pick me up. We went to her house and popped the Champagne (don’t worry it was past 5pm… Or at least 4:45pm lol) and started doing girly stuff aka our hair, makeup and picking out our clothes. As Keira tried on the cutest outfit ever, because she is probably the cutest girl ever, the outfit just seemed to be missing something… We thought about it for a few minutes and then we realized what she needed: a skinny black belt. Because everyone knows if you’re tryin to be a slut in the city you gotta accessorize with a skinny black belt.

We got picked up around 7:30pm after drinking about half a bottle of Smirnoff Raspberry Pomegranate Sorbet Light (because we are watching our figures) and then it was off to Hollywood. The rest of the evening was kind of a blur probably due to the massive amounts of Stoli Chocolate Raspberry shots (my new favorite). We listened to some version of Ska/Punk live music at a bar in NOHO and ate some fabulous food from a truck outside run by two very friendly Koreans named Paul and Chris. I chatted up a guy from New York and met a friendly bus boy by the name of Kyle who had a pretty rad beard. At one point a bunch of us were standing outside smoking and noticed someone was missing and macking with a silver fox around the corner (this person will remain nameless) don’t judge either because he may have been in his 40s and divorced, but he was a smokin hottie. Plus we are a bunch of girls and everyone knows girls tend to have our daddy issues surface with a few drinks in our system.

We left and went walking to the car when I saw a roach that was LITERALLY the size of a small dog. No joke, I could have put a leash on it and taught it to roll over, guess that’s why it’s called NOho. We got to a piano bar near Hollywood and Vine where we met a fat version of Leonard from Big Bang Theory. He was very nice, knew how to make friends, and seemed to remember what he learned in kindergarten (the importance of sharing). At this point in the evening we were all pretty tossed. I had somehow come up with the notion that I was married to a guy who came with us, a friend of Hannah’s boyfriend, but also made it clear that by Monday we’d be divorced (me and my fear of commitment). He had nicknamed me baby, causing me to keep yelling “nobody puts baby in the corner!” Haha. We decided to leave and walked through the back patio gate which had a clearly marked EXIT sign, the bouncer I guess wasn’t aware of the sign and since Steve (Hannah’s actor bf) was last to walk out he almost got forced to stay in! (Should have tried to pull the whole “don’t you know who I am” actor card Steve, duh). As we approached the car making plans to go to Mel’s Diner we see a conveniently placed hot dog vendor in the parking lot causing Keira and Hannah to LITERALLY jump for joy. We all got hot dogs and enjoyed small talk with the little Mexican vendor about his wife’s homemade habanera sauce (it was divine) then got in the car to get home (safely thanks to Steve not drinking).

Us girls arranged ourselves in a cuddle puddle in the backseat (boob grabbing and all) while listening to slow jams consisting mainly of Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus (yeah judge us, we don’t care, we sang along too). By the time we got home my ribs were crushed by the Geary sisters and we were so disoriented we didn’t realize we were home. We got out and it was FREEZING as we sprinted to the house to find their little sister Leila just getting home too. It was dark as Keira and I approached the garage while Hannah was still as the car giving the bf some sugar, Leila kept calling me Hannah as we walked up so I said “Hannah is dead” as I ran in. She could then immediately tell it was me, I mean come on you can place this deep raspy voice anywhere, and we all started laughing. I burst into Hannah’s room and jumped into her bed, she followed shortly after, and the night ended with us spooning for warmth as we fell sound asleep.

Of course like all my sleepovers she awoke confused and alone in an empty bed as I had slipped out early this morning hahahaha and now I am home recovering from the evenings events by recapping them to all of you.

Til next time blog readers!

#whitegirlproblems #hardforaslutinthecity
#wecantstop #wewontstop

xoxo.

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