So yeah, it is technically about love ending, but it is also about the realization that one can love again once it is over. I’ve been spending so much time focusing on the faults of relationships. It’s distracted me from the actual thought of diving into a new one. I guess in the midst of everything the underlying issue is the fear that I may not be capable of enduring another relationship. And I just want the reassurance that I will still be able to see “fireworks” or whatever that will get my blood pumping and heart racing. And know that it’s also okay to be scared because sometimes stuff doesn’t work out but I will survive.
I will end this with a quote from Grey’s Anatomy that I really love:
There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn’t because I thought I’d be happy alone. It was because I thought if I love someone and it fell apart, I might not make it. It’s easier to be alone because what if you learn you need love and then you don’t have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Loosing love is like organ damage. It’s like dying. The only difference is death ends. This could go on forever.”