I should probably feel cheap, but I just feel free, and a little bit empty

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TGIF am I right?! This post isn’t going to take up too much of your time because I have a really busy weekend planned and it is starting as soon as work ends!

Okay so if you read the quote on the image above you may have a small inclination of where this is going to go. I relate SO much to that quote, maybe other women reading this do too, and I will explain exactly what I mean by that.

I have lived most of my adult life being this alluring idea to guys. It isn’t that I am conceited or anything because trust me this never really boosted my self esteem. No, what they see isn’t this picture of a girl they want to date, it is a girl they just want to have fun with. Because I seem “fun” or “wild” or “down”. Unfortunately this image frequently made me appealing to the guys who HAD girlfriends. So, I was hit on by guys who were already taken, hence making ME the other woman. And I really hate being the other woman.

In my days of being a young stupid girl I got this notion instilled in my brain that I was somehow “un-dateable” which is why my only option was to be “that girl”. That girl who belonged to no one, who was free to do whatever she wanted, and it didn’t matter who got hurt because she was hurt first. Unfortunately with that responsibility came the burden of reputation to please everyone (and no I don’t mean please like that, get your head out of the gutter). I mean being “that girl” makes you easily disposable and the second you say no it is like you just do not exist. If a friend needed you and you weren’t there then whatever they don’t want to hangout with you. Obviously these people were not your friends but you didn’t know that back then.

I would literally go to sleep every night and wake up every morning with nothing but emptiness. I had nothing of any value, not my dignity, and definitely not my self respect. I could be in a room surrounded by people and feel completely and utterly alone even though I thought I had everything I wanted. I was convinced this was the life I was destined to live and I just had to accept it. For years I had my mind warped this way but I wanted so much more. I wanted to treat people better and I wanted to be treated better. I wanted real friends (which I couldn’t have if I wasn’t a real friend myself).

Ladies, let me tell you something, don’t you EVER let someone make you the other woman. Don’t ever allow yourself to become the other woman by yourself either. that is not a title to wear proudly and trust me I don’t care how hot that guy is, you do not want a man who is willing to cheat. I hate to be the one to tell you this but you are not special, he is cheating because he is a loser, not because there is something about YOU that he has to have.

You belong to no one but yourself. If you find someone you want to share your precious life with then so be it, but do not go stretching yourself thin to make everyone happy, they do not deserve it. And at the end of the day you are the one who ends up with nothing. Do not allow yourself to have nothing, if you want it all, go out there and get it.

Take pride in who you are and do not let anyone or anything make you think that you are anything less than extraordinary. ESPECIALLY not yourself, after all, we are our own worst critic.

xoxo.

[Listening to: Pompeii by Bastille]

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