“How do I get him to stop texting me?” A story by Kara Love & her iPhone

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Hello everyone! I hope all of you are having a great start to your work week, but if you’re not, at least you can take your mind off things for a bit with today’s post!

Remember that time you went out with your friends to a bar/club/restaurant and you chatted up that guy/girl for like however long you were there for? Then as you were heading out they asked for your number and you thought to yourself “sure, why not, they seem pretty cool” so you exchange numbers and go on your way not really thinking too much of it.

Then when you’re in the car you hear the ever-so-familiar sound of your text tone, let’s be real here it is probably the most frequently heard sound by the entire human race, and you pull out your phone curious/excited as to who it could be (don’t even lie you know you act like that every time your phone goes off). So you look at it:

Hey it’s [guy/girl] from the [location you met] what are you gonna do tonight? Wanna hangout?”

Uhhh…. What the hell? Is this guy/girl really asking me what I am doing 5 minutes after he said goodbye to me? Hmm they’re probably just drunk, I will play into it tonight I guess, I mean what is the worst that could happen?

So, the entire week following the “exchanging of the phone numbers”, you quickly draw the conclusion that:

  1. No they were not just drunk when they sent you a text asking to hangout 5 minutes after getting your number.
  2. They actually enjoy sending you a text asking what you are up to and if you want to hang out pretty much EVERY day.
  3. You may have dug yourself into a bit of a hole when you gave this guy/girl your phone number.
  4. You also may have dug yourself into an even DEEPER hole when you played into their texts that first night (rookie move, we all do it).
  5. You are just going to have to let them down easy before things get too out of control.

Okay so that initial week of the constant texts requesting to see you again has passed. You made the mental list in your head (it may be longer or shorter depending on how eager this texter really is) and you have had enough. I mean, I don’t care what ANYONE says, there is absolutely nothing flattering about this situation. It is not cute that you feel the need to text me EVERY SINGLE DAY trying to hangout when we just met a couple of days before at like a bar or something. It is creepy and weird and a little obsessive. Like maybe one text a day or two later, totally appropriate. But this nonsense is just plain unacceptable and it needs to be stopped.

So hopefully you figure out a way to cut the cord on that and you vow to never make that mistake again. Fast forward to some time in the future: a few months, maybe a year, maybe even more. You are just going about your life, business as usual, and you get a text message. You go to check it and you see that name, yes you still have them in your phone, do you remember who you are dealing with here? No one likes surprises! Anyway, this is the future and you’re a friendly person, so you go ahead and reply to them. What’s the worst that could happen?

  1. He/She will still be the same exact obsessive texter they were before. Did you honestly think they wouldn’t be?
  2. You will find yourself in a twilight zone-ish world where history is just repeating itself with constant feelings of deja-vu
  3. You might not remember how you got rid of him/her before, you can’t use the same out, maybe he/she won’t remember either?
  4. He/She might have gone through some terrible tragedy since then, so now you have to reject him/her again, AFTER he/she has gone through a bunch of awful shit. Way to be a total asshole.
  5. You will have to suffer through ANOTHER length of time where you are getting constant texts from him/her asking you to hangout which you always reply “perhaps” or “maybe” to even though you know you never will.

Congratulations future you, not many people can say they have time traveled, and you only have yourself to blame. But honestly it really isn’t your fault. I mean god forbid you are a friendly person who just likes talking to people right? All of a sudden it’s a crime to respond to people with absolutely no intention of ever hanging out with them? Like sorry I have manners and I speak when I am spoken to. Had no idea that pressing the send button is an automatic commitment to giving you my time just because you’re texting me. Also, word of advice: I may actually want to hangout with you at first, but my schedule is making it difficult, hitting me up every day asking me if I will ever make time for you is definitely gonna make me glad my schedule is so busy.

 

So what inspired this post? Obviously a real life experience that I have decided to share with all of you through the screen of my iPhone. Brief insight is I met this guy at a bar a year ago, he took a pic of me and my friends for us, we chatted for a bit. I gave him my number and he texted me IMMEDIATELY after I left to hangout. I went with it because I lived out of state. A year later he popped up again and I decided to be friendly and respond to the texts. I am sorry let me rephrase that, CONSTANT texts. I was always very nice when I would say I couldn’t hangout but in these photos I was at my breaking point. I am in green, he is silver. Enjoy:

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xoxo.

[Currently Listening to: Sentimental Tune by Tegan and Sara]

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4 thoughts on ““How do I get him to stop texting me?” A story by Kara Love & her iPhone

  1. OMG, I am going through the same thing right now. I regret giving my number. The worst part is that he knows where my bus stop is so he could see me in person (that is actually where we met). I don’t want to have a creepy dude get in the way of me taking my transportation. 😦

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    • I am so sorry girly! That is a terrible situation especially considering you met at a place you both frequently run into each other. The best advice I can give is to try and get your point across politely and if he still doesn’t get it you can then take my approach and just lay it in on him. Sometimes people cannot see past their own desires despite what you may want. Just don’t let your comfort get pushed aside because of someone else’s selfish urges. Good luck!

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  2. My situation isn’t that full on thankfully, though there was one like that a month ago with a guy who had a foot fetish and always asked me about my feet.

    Anyway, so there is this really sweet guy in my maths class and he has been talking to me all year in class, just simple things like ‘hello’ and ‘do you understand the problem?’ Actually so simple to the point where he seems to think I might be dumb. But now he has started talking to me on Facebook and every week asks for my phone number. He once sent five messages in a row asking for it because I had ignore all the previous attempts.

    Normally I would be outright and just tell him I didn’t feel like speaking to guys at the moment etc. but he is this sweet kid who seems all innocent and slightly out of his depth when it comes to talking to girls. So I really don’t want to hurt his feelings. Plus, other than the constant messages and photos of his dog he hasn’t actually said anything to indicate he likes me and I don’t want to say something and then realise he just wanted to be friends. Though, I don’t want to be friends either!

    Haha it’s not that bad I guess but we just have nothing in common and talking to him is boring. Plus lately I just seem to have an inbox full of annoying messages from random guys and it’s making me want to snap at all of them that I’m into girls or something just so they’d leave alone.

    Ah please help, I’m not used to guy attention and I don’t want any from these guys, how do I get out of the situation?

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    • hey Matisse, I am sorry to hear about your recent overflow of unwanted advances, but happy that you found something to relate to in my posts and decided to share your story with me. I completely understand where you’re coming from in your desire to limit these messages. It is so hard to seek for advice in these types of situations because most people you try to discuss it with will just think you’re conceited or just a bitch, I cannot tell you how many times I tried to talk to my friends about stuff like that and their responses were all “wow God forbid a guy is into you”, but it seriously isn’t flattering when they are SO pushy and just cannot take a hint.

      In regards to your situation with the guy in your math class: when does the class end? Like is this someone you are going to have to see for the next year? I only ask because it will really determine which route you’re able to take in telling him to take a hint lol. If the class is over in like a month or something, and you don’t mind a short time of awkward run-ins then I would just tell him in the most direct way, almost borderline bitchy. In my situation the guy lived in another city and he was someone I knew I would never run into (which is why you can see in the snapped convo I included that I was pretty bitchy haha). In that scenario you should just tell him over facebook message “Look, I am not sure what your intentions are with your communication toward me, nor do I want to assume anything and/or hurt your feelings. But it appears as though my attempts at avoiding this have been unsuccessful so all I can do is be direct with you. The reason you have not received a response to your messages requesting for my phone number is because I just do not wish to give it to you. Even if there was a chance that I wanted to pass my number along, I can assure you that repeatedly messaging me for it is not the way to go about getting it. With that being said I am sure you’re a nice guy I would just prefer it if this communication didn’t go any further than this.”

      If you are going to have to deal with this guy for longer and want to avoid any ruffled feathers, then you can always go the route of just making your point clear while at the same time being complimentary or making it about you like “I really appreciate that you see me as someone you connect with on a friend-like level, however, I am really just focusing on school right now and prefer to keep my education and social life separate. So in response to your request for my number I will not be passing it along. I don’t like to come off as rude or anything of that nature I just do not wish keep this communication going and hope you understand.”
      then if he doesn’t get the hint I feel like you have the right to be as bitchy as you want.

      With all these other guys hitting you up I feel as though it is due to the fact that you are not looking for this kind of attention nor does it seem as if you want it, and guys can just sense that kind of stuff. It turns into some sort of challenge to them or something because it is attractive when a girl isn’t desperately searching for a boyfriend. That is my only explanation for it.

      Let me know if this helps, I hope you can get yourself some peace and quiet! Just remember guys are of the lesser intelligence when the are thinking with their sex organs, so unfortunately the only option is to be a bitch lol Good luck!

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